dear diary

argh why is she leaving?! 1st may.. it's so fast.. too fast... abt my exams date. sigh.
feel like crying.
and im just SICK of teachers repeating the fact tt we're exp students. SO WHAT?! we're HUMAN BEINGS.. just that we're a little more acadimically better. thats about ALL. get tt..

sorry. gotta vent somehow. ='(

"huh? sec1 only stress ah.."
"aiyah, you sec1 only, when you come to sec4 then you feel stress"
"oh, i didnt know express students behave like that"
"so, this is express students."

blah. crap. off.

dear diary;

so drained.. haha.. but nevertheless strong in Him..

God has been planting loads of seeds.. two major ones:

1. cgl... [tt one is long ago]
2. joining the choir [recently]

joining the choir... not yet not yet. tt will be a long time away.. for now i duno.. stuck in between i guess? prolly.. mom will object cuz of the commitment.. and all..

hai.. nvm.. pray pray pray.. =)

dear diary.

somehow i think i dun like being still... keep myself bz.. cuz, when i sit down and do "nth".... all my frustrations... my sorrow and all just washes over me.

learnt to stop asking why... i'm tired of it. vvv tired.. cuz, there's a reason behind evt and anyway i dun get answers. so why ask? sick of it all.

stresses. even mrs uan commented i look so sad all the time. wads happening to me.

talking about it. family unity is somewhat gone. she dun even THINK when she talk. she dont know it HURTS me so MUCH. so, i dun care about the family, i dun belong here. sigh.. she dun mean it? i dun think so.

on the other hand cg unity is improving and tt's so cool. praise God.. =)

i'm dwelling too much on my sorrows. i miss them too much. so many things bring memories... emails, songs and all.. i want to go back but i dun want to let go of my sunday cg.

they're clamping down, being "reasonable people". -.-" haa. sighs.

i like wad tiffy say. "down but not out"

arggggh i'm going crazyyyy......... .... .... ... ... ='(

who says sec1 is not stressed. who said sec1 math is easy. who said that sec1 ppl can be free of troubles. who said....

sigh i feel like crying. i'm bottling evt inside and i cant get it out. when when when is the day i'll cry in worship, whether in cg, in spd, or in camps. when will WE be so touched by God... when we rech out our hand we can just feel Him. when.

i'm broken.. finally understand the meaning. i think i'm going to breakdown soon. hopefully not but if my mind really needs to break then i'll break i guess. but after tt i must move on. life dun stop here cuz of these type of things.

duno now it's tears of what. sadness, happiness? sighs.

feeling so numb alr...

dear diary,

crap sia... rmb i said about needing a break from this world. ohmygoodness how am i supposed to do tt. i tried to keep monday and tues free but i think its impossible. jingyi and jeanne have npcc camp on friday.
sigh. this type of thing is so silly to be fretted over and yet im fretting.
oh well.. bye march hols i guess... june hols will be better.

i hope.
cries.

dear diary...

i tell you... i had enough of jiayin.
i KNOW i'm being judgemental but i cant help it..
if she cry over such small things like staying back...
then shouldnt i cry more?
i'm not comparing her and me la..
it's like she seeks attn and sympathy with the class gurls lo...
mannnz.... this is affecting our unity [as if it's not affected enough]
siannnnnnz.

anyway i'm realllly looking forward to the march hols..
i reallllly need a break from the world... treat it as a retreat...
dun think i'm going out much... except for the two concerts... mainey jiayou! wooootx..
yeahh.... need time for myself.. my studies and my God. =)

btw it's getting tougher... when when when is the day when LET's pnw will be WOW? sooooon yes and amen.
think maybe size of the congre affects. i duno la.
its just ard the corner... it's waiting for us to run... but we're prac crawlingg... comeon ppl.. stand up and run!

me?
im just another incohorent girl on the face on the earth. singing's my passion, but i do badly at it.
and it doesnt help that some people stress that point to me too. it redundant, cos i already know it.
trying to live for God alone. still trying.

you'll find out who sheryl really is here.

wait a minute.
you dont even need to know me.

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